Thursday, May 21, 2015
Schedules I am in constant conflict with whether I want them in my life or not. It seems like a great idea in my head things will get done I will be "on time" yah know because of the schedule of course. But I know myself well and I do enjoy having plans. Still I am and always have been impulsive and a little withdrawn. Not because I am sad but because that is basically how I grew up. I spend a lot of time by myself and finding ways to explore and tap into what makes me happy. I would listen to my Walkman, take pictures at the beach, sew and cut up my clothes I am still that same kid. I know many people don't understand it but anyone that lived 25 plus miles from any sort of entertainment get it. 
Now I have a family and that definitely gets you out and more social which is nice I like talking to people and making new friends. I still have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that wants to grab my family jump in the car and drive somewhere new. Go take pictures make something with my hands and listen to great music. I have been so busy lately with other people’s schedules I have lost a huge chunk of my surfing time and totally feeling that emptiness. So photography is this quickest thing for me to direct my energy towards that isn't so time absorbing. 
I have recently been shooting with my 440 Polaroid land camera. I purchased it a few years back at a street fair for five dollars. The great thing about this camera is Fuji still makes film for it oh how I love the Japanese. And it is actually is instant I have some impossible film for my 80's Polaroid camera and it is not the same you have to shield it from light right away and let it develop on its own for about 20 minutes. I think it is great they are still making film for it but the land camera is more rad and the film is much cheaper. Sometime the camera does not work that well I don't have a flash for it so I am limited to mostly outdoor use for now. All these photos are not perfect and I am trying to get the right amount of developing time and light down but I adore every one of these photographs. I would possibly like to purchase one in better condition to see if I have better luck but for now this will do.

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