Left Blank

Miami

2012-01-29T08:46:00.000-08:00

Been trying to keep my priorities straight and surfing comes before writing especially since after my last appointment I asked how long will I be out of the water and he said at least 2 months :( boo
For now here are some 50mm memories from Miami and Key West

my buddy

passengering

in color

Miami

south beach

free hiv testing

my guide

rentals

a duck

wiener dog festival

$55 rip off

Your right life is better

someone made a portrait of me

key west gems

shouldas

shack bar

butterfly on her shoulder

I have decided I dont like mimosas anymore I like bloody marys mo betta

hmm like

gem

porch bar

a large cock

Lately

2012-01-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

Back from Miami I will for sure post some photos of my trip. Tuesday was my birthday I turned 29 as much as I would like to say it was so awesome it really wasn't I was tired from my lack of sleep on the plane the house was a complete mess which was a bummer because I asked for a clean house for my birthday haha yeah not so much piles of dirty laundry etc..I was only gone for 4 days it was like a bomb went off! Everyday from here on out will be crazy filled with appointments and pre-ops the countdown begins February 1st is the day!

with nuts

2012-01-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

January is passing by I feel I cant even take a minute to myself February 1st is my brain surgery date and that is weighing heavy on me I almost feel like I am 9 months pregnant with the urge to nest. I want to make sure I am prepared the kids are prepared I have bills paid etc..Yesterday Marley and I picked up Johns T-shirt order which came out great! I will post them later. and then straight to the doctors were I had a pre-op appointment to make sure everything is working correctly I got a EKG which is just weird, chest x-ray, 3 tubes of blood and a urine sample which was hard to explain to Marley she just looked at me with this strange your a weird mom look. I am hoping everything comes out normal I am a little sick right now so I need to make sure I get healthy or I will have to postpone surgery. Tonight I leave for Miami I get to go visit my bf Rachel I am excited I need some peace and I am hoping to talk, cry and laugh...I also need to get started on the kids letters as well as depressing as it sounds I feel the need to write letters to my kids and family just in case something bad happens in surgery...which is not going to happen but if it did I want to make sure they have something. I have not started the letters because I am avoiding those feeling and getting into that frame of mind is not easy. Another thing dawned on me the other day was how long am I going to be out of the water? I know that's selfish sounding but I need it! I live with two teenage boys and a four year old I need my personal time ...seriously.
It has not been easy T is 13 and well he is 13! I sometimes hug John and ask him when does it get better? Where is the down part to this hill? But its OK we were all 13 I know I was no piece of cake.
I am going to pack up for my trip and have things ready for John to take care of the kids this weekend (slightly nervous) he is a great dad I am just always nervous if you couldn't tell from these ramblings :)
I am going to enjoy my time and be back and ready to tackle Marley's dentist appointment, my 29th birthday, more pre-ops, brain surgery and teenage boys!

Pictures from yesterday:

Marley has been walking in these princess shoes everyday she is so funny

f21 squidish necklace

Banana bread extravaganza

NOFX on a Tuesday night

Empty Pools

2012-01-17T10:27:00.000-08:00

John spent yesterday scanning a few of the many stacks and stacks of pools he has skated in the past 20 years. He is posting them online in photo blog form so he will always have them in one organized spot.

Check out http://deathboxesbynine.blogspot.com/

Old film look at those colors!

Lay Day

2012-01-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

Sunday was overcast day we just didn't feel like leaving the house so we spent time together doing little projects. So yesterday I started prepping for dinner at 10am! soaking my beans and roasting tomatoes in the oven. I made this 17 bean stew which came out really good and as much as Marley does not want to eat anything good for her she had some to. I am lucky the boys are not as picky anymore I remember at one point Tyler didn't like spaghetti and meat sauce but now he loves it and almost always asks for seconds.

I let Marley explore the 17 different type of beans we were going to have for Dinner

Get that feeling like your being watched?

John and I are on a baking streak we made 2 loafs of banana bread one with walnuts one without they came out sooo good.

Recipe

Today in photos

2012-01-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

I never learn!

This is called a Joes Special its amazing

This I am claiming is THE best photo I have ever taken bacon and heart shaped syrup...no contest!

Chocolate chip cookies

Have a great weekend everyone!

Out front....I love where I live

2012-01-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

Golden Aberrations from Mike Pagan on Vimeo.

Oh Yes I did

2012-01-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

That's right last night I met with my super talented long time tattooer Johnny at his shop Hermosa Tattoo Company in Hermosa Beach. I didn't realize till last night that he first tattooed me when I was only 20 over 9 years ago yikes that's when I first started my arm. I try to make it at least once a year to see him for progress sessions unlike most people I know I enjoy getting tattooed its part of why I get tattooed. Its my time out from being a mom and talking with teenagers and toddlers and go talk tattoos and brain tumors. I have been claiming I wanted my shin tattoo for quite awhile. So I asked if we could put my arm on the back burner so I can get this new piece. My mother has a red matryoshka doll we use to play with but a few years my dear friend Karen gifted me my own it sits on my mantle Marley plays with it a lot and has renamed her "The Mommies". So you might wonder whats inside my matryoshka well there are many layer to anyone so I am no different there is a lot in there which also includes my dear husband and children. I thought this was an ideal time for me to get my tattoo now that my surgery is slowly inching closer and closer. It symbolizes the strength I need to have to help hold everything together regardless of medical issues I still have to be a mother and take care of the most important thing in my life my family.

A note

2012-01-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

Early this year our preschool teacher asked us to write a letter to our kids just in case there was an emergency or natural disaster etc.. I have not been able to fill this tall order because its kind of scary to think about if somehow I was not able to get to Marley right away. But I think it is a great idea so I finally wrote her a letter today.
here it goes...

My Sweetest Marley,

Do you remember when we would go to kids cluband I would drop you off there and then mommy would go to the big kids part ofthe gym and I would say I love you have fun and I will be back in no time. Welltoday is like that day sometimes mommy and daddy can’t pick you up right awaybecause we are trying to get the boys and Otto ready to and since Miss Lori isthe coolest teacher and all your friends are there I want you to stay theretill I can come get you. I love the so much angel and Mommy and daddy will bethere soon.

Love you Mommy!

Marley and Mommy at Mavericks

The weekend

2012-01-08T18:04:00.000-08:00

First big swell of the year

2012-01-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

Tree P'd

2012-01-03T08:17:00.000-08:00

So some genius kids decided to pull a pretty creative prank they gathered ALL the Christmas trees in the whole city that were sitting outside waiting to be recycled and stacked them in our neighbors front lawn there must have been about 150 Christmas trees I kid you not. I didn't want to paparazzi right in front of his house so I took one from up the street not the greatest picture but you can see all the trees stacked up on the side of his house and a city truck using a tractor to gather them all up.

from today

2012-01-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

went to my sister in laws with Marley today got to see our cousins I finally am not sick and held sweet Enzo he is so adorable took some really great pictures of him and his big sisters as well.

Marley helping me with test shots

Enzo

Wave check

2011-12-31T10:49:00.000-08:00

Morning surf check

I am going to stick this in my pocket and forget about it

Morning breath from the free candy van

dampness

ready

and here is what the surf look like when we first drove down...

for a better look maybe?

morning John

Exactly what the sign says

not much use right now

puddle view

Window Shop

2011-12-30T09:23:00.000-08:00

I am obsessed with Pinterest its like this dream world where I can pin all the things I love but cant afford into a board so maybe one day when I can afford it I already have a list of waiting for me haha.. So far I have started on refurnishing the house starting new craft projects and pining cute clothes for Marley and myself. I have not even began with recipes yet I have seen some fancy baking recipes but who am I kidding I am terrible when it comes to following direction. I think that's why I enjoy cooking more than baking you have more freedom to do what you want.

If you would like to follow my dream world of mid century furnishings, vintage kids clothes and DIY madness click the the picture it should take you to my dreamland.

My wedding shoe

2011-12-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

So I am finally starting to write about my wedding I have been going through the pictures deciding which ones to make prints of. It made me feel motivated to post.

I HEART Seychelles they have the cutest shoes ever. I dont wear a heal often I am a beach girl I live in my sandals if I am wearing any shoes at all but when it comes down to a special occasion or a date I want to do it up. I love the wedges they are so comfy I know most wedding blog advice is to wear your wedding shoes to break them in but I didn't need to. I got my bridesmaids to get a pair I told them to get the same style but I let them pick any color just because I wanted to make sure they would get use again.

bits

2011-12-27T09:43:00.000-08:00

Need to go though the photos from Christmas etc... I have been so burned out on taking pictures and really want to get back to sewing I made some really awesome skirts for Marley's cousin for Christmas and I am feeling inspired. I was able to surf one or two times this vacation break so that is always huge for me. It will be nice to get back to my surfing 3 days a week when the kids are back in school.

As for the new year res..
1. More art project with the kids

missing

2011-12-20T10:04:00.000-08:00

My mother has been in Chile for the past few months I miss her I cant wait for her come home I started the scheduling my surgery it looks like it is going to happen at the end of January maybe the 30th. I will be out of comish for awhile so I need my mom to save me!

My mom as prom queen in Chile at her school with her proud father my Tata I miss him to.

us

2011-12-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

Tripin

2011-12-08T08:15:00.001-08:00

Fresno

car shot

Tree down and chillin

Regal Otto

Ronnie Lady

Half Moon Bay

Byebye Family

A Lighthouse

can you guess where we are

Trouble

Fun waves

Mister perch himself

kids menu

My old man

yyeeee

not sure

painful

puffin

touch pools

big sur

tingly hands and feet bridge

water fall

me and the baby

Hazard

top of the world Morro

Hey can you do me a favor if you would like to use a photo could you ask me first before saving and posting somewhere else. thanks

my luck

2011-12-01T12:21:00.001-08:00

I stop taking my medicine for a month and my prolactin levels went from 37 to 67 so I guess I am going back on it my headaches have been terrible I want to say its been constant pressure in my head for about 2 week. Yah a 2 week headache..I have no one to blame but myself I just detest pill I dont want to take this stupid medicine anymore. Hopefully brain surgery in January.

Fresh Cut

2011-12-01T08:37:00.001-08:00

Well I did it I cut Marley's hair I took him to Ultra Lux Salon in Redondo Beach and had a super nice girl cut Marley's hair.

Welcome

2011-11-18T13:33:00.001-08:00

Enzo

to see more go to my website:

http://www.wix.com/vaniafrancesca/vfp#!landscape/vstc1=page-3

Family

2011-11-11T15:29:00.001-08:00

It is so funny when you a mother and get so wrapped in what your day to day normal is. You forget the most basic wonderful thing a big family has to offer and that's cousins. Today I was so happy to get together with my sister in law and her kids we took some belly shots since she is due any day now and Marley got to play with VV and Luciana. Every time I leave there I wonder to myself why we dont do these play dates more often I enjoy and cherish them.

2011-11-05T09:30:00.001-07:00

oh my gosh I just wrote my longest post yet and google somehow lost it

Strongest girl in the world

2011-10-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Marley's Halloween costume is done its days like this that I am so proud to be a mamma

Happy Halloween everyone!

Pippi Costume

2011-10-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

Marley loves Pippi Longstocking the 1949 movie with English subtitles has been played the past few months on heavy rotation. I thought it would be great to do a handmade Pippi Longstocking pinafore I found a great tutorial here it was for 6-12 month old so I just adjusted the length and made my own pattern from some Trader Joes bags. It still needs work I would like to add pockets and some contrast stitching. Halloween should be fun this year. As for the boys I think we are going to turn them into zombies that should be fun.

The Wait

2011-10-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

My appointment has come and gone and now its time to start mentally preparing for what has been bound to come brain surgery.
I must say it is almost a relief to picture myself minus a brain tumor at this time in my life I am struggling as it is with teenagers and Marley a business I am trying to help run life can be overwhelming at times. There is other options. I could take anywhere from 6-8 more pills a week and play guinea pig to see if that will make the tumor shrink but honestly I cant stand taking the amount of medicine I am taking now and taking triple the amount sounds like madness to me. There is also radiation therapy which is recommended for older patients so really the other option is surgery. My neurosurgeon recommended me to have and said I was a perfect candidate for the surgery get in there take it out and done..of course it is more complex than that. I have to decide whether I want them to take out a membrane wall that the tumor is pressing against. The reason is for testing to see if the tumor has not spread into the membrane. I am at a stand still with the decision because on the other side of that wall is the carotid artery which if punctured at best case scenario can temporarily leave me with double vision and would have to wear a patch (ARRRR). Worst case would be cardiac arrest or heart attack. There is a 30% chance the tumor can grow back if I dont and a 10% chance if I do decide to take it out. He is leaving it up to me because it is a more risk involved. Now if the tumor was cancerous which it is NOT he would automatically take it out to be sure it has not spread.
is this making sense?
I must call for an appointment for surgery so they can start communicating with my insurance to see if they are going to cover there part. I would love to just get it out tomorrow but my mom is out of the country and feel the need to wait till she comes back. So I might have to wait another 4 months..ahhh I know in the grand scheme its not that bad but I am done, well done, over cooked with this. Four months right now seems like torture but I am sure it might be a good thing I am going to continue to take the medicine because it makes my periods come almost every month and maybe just do one more MRI before surgery to see how things are looking.
As far as surgery goes I honestly feel good about the decision I really just want to rid this of my life and move on if I dont have to live with this if I dont have to. My doctors does 2-4 of these surgeries a week and has performed over 4,000 surgeries with no serious injuries. I recently talk to someone who had the same type of tumor half the size of mine and she told me when she got the surgery she felt like a new person. Now I am not going to get my hopes up that I will be calm all the time and not be so emotional because I know I am an emotionally sensitive person. But with restoring my hormones back to normal and getting my periods back gotta change something right?
Symptoms..... I planned on sharing these but decided it was a bit to private.anyways I think this post is long and confusing enough take care everyone.

Half Moon Bay

2011-10-17T07:16:00.000-07:00

Surprise visit for Ronnie's birthday it was so nice to see my sister I miss her so much. I really feel like I am missing a piece of myself because of the distance. I dont blame her being up there it is absolutely beautiful place. Danielle my sister, Greg her boyfriend and myself drove up. It was a adventure we somehow got lost 3 times! It was classic oh did I mention we left at 1am in the morning so we all got like an hour of sleep it was crazy but fun and a memory I will cherish for life. We also got to stay at my friends house in the east bay that she bought with her boyfriend in San Lorenzo. It was so amazing I am so proud of them there house is lovely it was a great trip...

Ruttin

2011-10-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

After last week unmotivated creativity I am just dying for inspiration if you have not noticed I completely change my blog for awhile just because maybe something different will spark up some creative vibes.

Marleys breakfast she said her almond butter looks like a jelly fish.

BZ

2011-10-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

Things have been normal here what is normal? Well running around with my head cut off life how we know it here in the 310. I have this pet peeve of instant annoyance when people say they have been so busy. I think that everyone is busy with there life and when you tell someone that you have been so busy its basically dismissing that maybe perhaps they have been busy as well. Does that make sense?

So anyways I have a few post coming up that I will someday get to.. I have been working on some really cute upcycled skirts lately and in the next few weeks I plan to reopen my etsy shop. My brain tumor appointment is coming up on the 18 that should be interesting. Also Marley is in love with all things Pippi Longstocking so I will be hand making a costume for her this year.

Check back soon take care...V

My shoes

2011-10-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

Second Hand Information

2011-09-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had this gut feeling I was sitting in the beach parking lot and told myself I go surfing this morning I am going to miss my phone call from my neurosurgeon with the results from my MRI. But the waves looked fun and I convinced myself that it would be silly for me to sit there staring at the phone all week till I got the call. So I went surfing for an hour or so and as I was pulling off my wetsuit John rolls up in his work van. Walks straight toward me and tells me he talk to my neurosurgeon and then paused. He probably made that pause so I could adjust my frame of mind and be ready for what he was going to say. I felt more of a heart drop feeling like if you were riding on a really big roller coaster.
So from the information that John told me my growth I have on my pituitary gland is some sort of pituitary tumor not a cyst and its the same size as it was last year.

Not exactly the news I wanted to hear what I wanted was something more concrete like its smaller the medicine you are taking is working. Or its bigger and No the medicine you are taking is NOT working. But here I am right here in the middle with a dozen unanswered question. What does this information suppose to mean that its not growing and its just chilling? Or does it mean that it was growing and the medicine has helped and stop the tumor from growing? I am confused...

I tried to get a hold of my doctors office yesterday so I could personally have a conversation and maybe get some of my questions answered but the phone line was busy all day it was crazy I have never had that problem of them not answering the phone before but yet of course as soon as I am desperately wanting some answers it busy all day. John did mention the office was going to call me to set up a meeting with John and I, the surgeon and the UCLA endocrinologist and we were going to have the discussion on where we go from here.

Which basically means more medicine or surgery?

Johns opinion is lets take it out surgery is the better option which is easy to say but John is not the one that has to actually get the surgery. I know he just wants me to be better and men are easy like that A) Problem B) Solution. Women are like A) problem B) emotions about the problem C) reactions about the problem...defghijk...you know I am right ladies. Its more complex as it should be in this situation its brain surgery!

I feel better today this blog is medicine to me I enjoy writing its calms me down and I feel much more peaceful. Especially since I am not able to just lock myself in a room and take time to be calm and relax and think about my problem and what I am going to do about it. I have three kids its not that simple Micah is 15 now and in full teenage argumentative stage it does not matter what it is it will automatically turn that switch in his head to argue normal behavior good for his developmental health in his life but terrible for John and I. I cant help but laugh about it. We were all there and now seeing it from the other side just cracks me up. As for Tyler he has not figured out the system yet he will be 13 in November and he is fighting us for the path of least resistance. Another normal behavior but so hard to handle. Marley well shes four and can do everything by herself. So is it crazy over here? Oh yes but there it is life in its purest forms I really have to step back better sometimes and just realize that yes life is hard and things might not run as smooth as they should but we are all learning together to make this work. We have the main ingredient here and that's unconditional love and I would rather have that than the dishes being done, the kids listening to me all the time, and my brain tumor being gone.

Fair

2011-09-24T17:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after my MRI and all the driving I was drained and needed something else to think about. I have felt overly stressed about the results of this MRI and I am tired of the worry I will be receiving the results in a few days and then I can spend time to worry but until then I need to get back to living. So today I woke up to a cool overcast day which is exactly perfect for taking a nice stroll down to the Richmond Street Fair.

Richmond street is one of the prettiest areas in town the street is lined with lush green trees old brick buildings oozing with history and charm it is one of the main reasons I enjoy living here. A vendor that I have seen before at the hometown fair was there her booth decorated in old vintage linens always draws me in. She repurposes old trinkets and vintage jewelry and creates wonderful new pieces. She had a dish of miscellaneous for a $1 a piece Marley picked out this beautiful butterfly necklace that I will have to borrow from her.

I found some really cute faux earrings and a bracelet that reminds me of Wilma Flinstones necklace. She has an etsy shop and is from El Segundo click here to check out her jewelry. I really enjoy meeting creative people like her she is in my view living a dream of mine being able to do what you love as well as making people happy by giving them something special and one of a kind.

It makes me motivated to work on my fall/winter project. This year my main goal was to use my free time to work on my re-purposed skirts and get my etsy shop back up. My sister in law Mary has said time and time again that I need to get on it and start making enough to have a booth and sell them. So this winter I will be creating as many as I can for next spring. I am excited and have a goal in place and gives me something to look forward to.

Marley in one of my skirts

Day of play

2011-09-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Since Marley has preschool 3 days a week I make some time after I drop her off to go surfing it clears my mind, its exercise and just one of the best feelings ever there is nothing like it. There has not really been decent swell but I still go just to get wet. A fellow blogger captured this photo It was probably about 2 feet away from the sand. It was a super high tide and breaking right on the sand but the sun was out and it was a beautiful day.

School Days

2011-09-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

I enjoy this types of post I LOVE dressing Marley which is not as easy as it use to be when she was little and didn't really have an opinion. So these days I mostly let her pick out what she wants to wear and try to let her explore a little. Here is what Marley wore to school this past week.

Day 1

shorts, shirt, and backpack-Gap

Sweater-Next

Vintage Boots

Handmade Bow- By me

Day 2

Skirt- by me

Vest- F21

Baseball tee- Gap

Wallet-Sanrio

Zoo Lunchie- Skiphop

Shoes- Ross

Day 3

Skrit- mama made

Shirt- Gap

Pancho- handmade

Backpack-Gap

Shoes- one star

Next Friday

2011-09-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

1 week till my MRI I have been avoiding this visit because I know it was going to be expensive. Yes that is how I think I grew up with no medical insurance so we didn't make it to the doctor unless we were literally bleeding from the skull. If my mom could poor hydrogen peroxide on it or give us that nasty cherry flavored Robitussin there was no need. John is the complete opposite when I first started living with the kids I was certain they were trying the hardest possible to get a pair of crutches since that is the cool thing to have in fourth grade. They got what they wished for and could not skateboard or ride there bike until they got better when they realize how boring it really was they were healed like some miracle you see on Sunday morning television service.

So I think that John and I kind of meet in the middle of this dialectic and go when its necessary. But as far as myself I apparently dont apply to this standard. John reminded me today that next Friday is the day and the first thing I say is can we afford it? He looks at me funny and he says to me "hmm let me think you have a BRAIN TUMOR yes we can. Ok then I will make the trek to UCLA medical center off of Wilshire Blvd. pay $15.00 to park in there structure and pay $777.98 because I have not met my deductible. I honestly have been excited about this MRI not my head being taped down and stuck in a tube for an hour part but the pictures. I Always looking forward to seeing my brain split up in layers all those pieces make up me.
I enjoy learning visually I cant stand following directions sewing patterns cooking instructions..etc I would rather watch someone do it and then figure it out myself it sounds silly but I enjoy working that way. I think that's why I enjoy photography so much I have my own way of taking pictures that works for me.
It would be a tragedy if my eye site would slowly be effected from the tumor growing up to my optical nerves. I would rather give up any limb on my body before them but from what the doctor told me last time we talked my tumor is nowhere near those nerves yet. But it has been a year I have been taking this medicine and I really want to know what the measurement of MR. Tumor is. So soon ....
Have a great weekend everyone.

Something New

2011-09-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

So I have been thinking lately that I would really like to change the name of my blog. Its sound cheesier and cheesier as the years go by. I think it is suppose to be untitled because I get stuck every time I try to change it. Am I that boring I cant think of anything to name it? I want it to reflect my life because well that's basically what its about. I just recently put a new title picture (header) I added the word brain tumor in the description and I already hate it that's not the only thing going on in my life. Its a big part of whats going on but not what I want people to think of when they think of me. I am stuck right now I try to leave it blank on my header but it told me (Required field must not be left blank) So right now I am calling left blank I am sure someone has thought of that already but for now my untitled blog is left blank.

Answers?

2011-09-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

Probably not I know that's terribly pessimistic of me but I cant stand getting my hopes up sometimes. I have a MRI scheduled at the end of this month yes I finally throwing my credit further down the rabbit hole. I need to know how my little tumor visitor I have on my pituitary is doing these days?
Dear Mr. Tumor (yes hes male),
Have you gotten bigger? or perhaps smaller? I will reveal that soon so enjoy your privacy for the moment because soon I will expose you and hopefully find exactly what type you are.
Yours Truly,
Vania

2011-09-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

one moment

2011-09-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

I was giving Marley a bath and left the door open so I can clean and watch her at the same time. I walked by and saw her cute little feet up so I ran to my room and grabbed my camera.

Real Life

2011-08-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately it is time to partially get my head out of the clouds the kids go to school next week and I really need to focus on how I plan on paying for Marley's school. Since Marley will be in school longer this year I plan on finding something part time I can do on top of the business I help run with John. It is more to keep myself busy doing something NOT at home but also the money would obviously help out.
I called UCLA Neurosurgery 2 days ago and waiting for an approval for my next MRI. This one will supposedly be the one with answers. I am skeptical I guess will see.

Marley

2011-08-27T16:55:00.001-07:00

Marley
Originally uploaded by vania francesca
I still play with dolls mine is just real her name is Marley and she is my daughter. I love her..

All Smiles

2011-08-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

John and myself on our wedding day

Home

2011-08-16T21:15:00.000-07:00

home from our honeymoon now i get to sort through wedding photos yea!

This was one of the centerpieces from our table. I went there before the ceremony to take some pictures myself of all my collecting that I have done the past 21/2 years. It was well worth it the reception looked amazing

9 lives

2011-07-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

I get married to John in 9 days and as much as things are overwhelming and stressful trying to get all the details together. I try to remember why this is happening John and I are making this official for our self and for are three children. We have all gone through tough times in our lives even the children unfortunately so its time for healing and strengthen our bonds and make this family a whole. I am so excited that the day is almost here..I love everyone who has been there for support from the beginning you know who you all are

Morning Rituals

2011-07-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

Night Vison

2011-07-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

It started out as a clear starry night with a big moon glistening on the water you can see the swells rise up but later on in the night a marine layer blended the water and sky together and you couldn't see them coming. You would just turn around and paddle as soon as you felt the drift you get up and drive down the line as fast as you can Malibu perfection with a handful of people. The best part no ones watching your free to experiment have FUN or..whatever you like its just you out there with a few other shadowy figures in the water no judgments, bad vibes, or angry "locals". Just you gliding away no one can see if you rip or not and no one cares...

on the flipside

2011-07-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

Kp Rennie came to Segundo today to chat about wedding photos, check the location and gift John and I with a date night a very rare thing for us.

She shot these photos at my ceremony site its so strange to be on this side of the camera with a straight face I think I lasted 30 seconds before I burst into silliness. KP will be shooting my wedding I am truly excited and so so feel lucky.

Lighthouse Nuptials

2011-07-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to a dear friends wedding it was held at The Lighthouse in Long Beach Harbor it was amazing. I felt honored to be able to be there here are a few shots I took for them...

Nerves

2011-06-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

The date is getting closer and closer and most days I find myself really trying to not talk about the wedding it has consumed me and I am already tired. I really have not thought the whole process through until recently and realized that I am going to be standing in front of a whole bunch of people and being watched the rest of the night. I had a moment of panic about this which is weird to me since my whole life I died my hair bright rainbow colors sang with a band basically all things that draw attention to yourself. These days I am cool with my more reclusive self I find that you get in less trouble/drama that way. So on my wedding day I must make sure to NOT pick my nose or touch my face, rub my eyes and smear all my makeup. Try not to spill anything or look like I am tired and brush my hair more than once on that day. Oh yeah and dance!

Trust

2011-06-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

One of Johns friend wrote a small article from a picture I took of Marley and John I knew it was a special picture right away so I had to share it with him and you
http://www.concretedisciples.com/bto/item/4268-trust.html

wedding fluff

2011-05-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

I have 2 months to get a wedding to happen!
I decided to go through all the vintage linens I have collected its actually pretty cool to lay everything out on the table especially if you like old things. I made some mock tables counted napkins and photograph what I envisioned it looking like the day of here are some photos,

I love this just a pile of vintage things <3

its nice to see how its going to come out hopefully with more flowers I just cut those for the shoot

this was the child's table which I think is my favorite idea play tea set lollipops and crayons!

nevermind all the wrinkles they will be all pressed out

2011-05-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

thank you .. http://rightspotattherighttime.blogspot.com/ for this picture.

soft and fuzzy

2011-05-26T08:15:00.001-07:00

soft and fuzzy
Originally uploaded by vania francesca

Cares

2011-05-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

selfie

2011-05-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

doing the unspeakable taking a picture of myself from a low angle. I have been working my but off at the gym trying to get in shape for our surf trip/honeymoon. I have made small progress and I am proud of myself for it. I honestly do not think I will ever be happy with my body but I am trying my best.

Concern

2011-05-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

I got most of my results yesterday I am still waiting on one or two blood test though. My prolactin levels are down they are now at 37 last time we checked they were at 73 in December.. weird 73-37. Normal range of prolactin levels are about 5-20 so almost in normal range but still high my doctor was not totally thrilled and not ready celebrate just yet. We still do not really know what type of tumor I have? The Only way to really find that out is through MRI. One that slices my brain in smaller pieces so the imaging of the tumor comes out better. The last MRI I got at Torrance I guess was fairly basic and was not detailed enough. Yes it showed that I have a tumor but I guess not good enough. I need to go back to UCLA for that one its an hour + MRI. One test showed that I do not have a hormone producing tumor so I can cross that off the list.

So for now instead of two half pills a week I will be up the dose to 3 halves till September when I get my blood test again. Between now and then I need to get that MRI. Unfortunately I have extremely shitty PPO insurance and 20-30% of cost is out of pocket. So for instance that basic MRI at Torrance was over $6,500+ I end up having to pay $1,500+ That was a 20 minutes MRI. I am scared to even ask how much this next one will cost. So here I am again with dilemma go get in more medical debt or wait it out awhile. I am trying to make a wedding happen in a few months and pay all our home/business bills raise 3 kids and be emotionally there for my family. I feel I am treading quick sand slowly sinking the harder I struggle.

blood test yesterday

2011-05-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

blood test today
Originally uploaded by vania francesca
My blood test have been something I have been putting off since late December my doctor said it would be best to wait till 2011 because a few of the test are pricey and it would be better to hold off so it can go toward my 2011 deductible. Well its May and John had finally gave me the scary look that forced me to do them.
I have a serious problem I tend to put everyone ahead of me. I think that is somewhat of a mom thing but still I think that it is something major I need to work on. Even small things like my laundry I will end up doing a constant flow of laundry for John and the boys and will literally will run out of underwear and that forces me to do my own laundry. It the same process when it comes to my medical bill/issues In my mind it makes sense to try to pay off the $1,600.00 for my MRI and the $500.00 I already owe to LabCorp before I start up again with more tests but I recently have had terrible headaches and some "personal earthquakes" is what I like to call them. Its like my whole body shifts in one direction John can tell its happening because I stay really still to keep from falling over. It happened on Mothers Day, the following day at the bank as well. Its pretty scary so I went...
Yesterday drove to Health Care Partners to get my test done with Marley I wanted to show her that it is not scary. In a another year or so she will need test to see where her allergies are.
There was only one person waiting so I felt relief hey this will be over in no time. They called my name and told me they could not do my test because there were a few they cannot handle at there facility. So she handed my a map and told me to go across the street a few buildings over. No biggie right. I got Marley back in the car and drove down the street went inside and another lady approaches me and says I am sorry we are all out to lunch hand me another map and says I need to go there. I made sure that this 3rd place was equipped for the tests I need. She reassures me and I grab Marley and head back to the car. A bit frustrated I kept thinking OK third time is a charm right? Well I seem to have trouble finding the next building it was a few miles away and really not familiar with the area. I finally managed to find it.
I got Marley out of the car and tried to grab all my paperwork and a gust of wind blows them all of them out of my hand. I had to leave Marley by the car to chase after them. As I shouted NOOO! I managed to collect them all and had a little laugh about it. Went inside and sure enough got all my test done.YAH!!!
I will be calling my doctor today to schedule an appointment to find out what the results are and find out what I need to do now more medicine? Is it shrinking? ...blah..blah

mama and papa

2011-05-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

John in his happy state of mind looking at a near perfect condition garage sale surfboard

me in the raw

new things

mothersday

mothersday booty

half of this twice a week

2011-05-09T09:57:00.000-07:00

This tiny thing is suppose to shrink my tumor

Ottopotomus

2011-05-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like a perfect overcast day to shoot I am in love with Otto's new portrait I feel like I can reach out and pet him.

These are a few of my favorite things

2011-05-07T17:26:00.001-07:00

These are a few of my favorite things
Originally uploaded by vania francesca

I met this really sweet lady at Home Town Fair today she runs a flower company at her house so we had much to talk about since my wedding is 3 months away. She had a table full of vintage doilies, napkins and tablecloths things I have been collecting for the wedding she gave me this stack for 23 dollars I feel so lucky :)

Vintage Tea Cup Favors

2011-04-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

So I made a giant batch of teacup candles today I got about 50 done. I am so exhausted I can barely type thank goodness for spell check to clean up this post. I wanted to share some picture the first photograph is my makeshift double boiler the rest is all the finished candles on my dining room table. I am still missing some and I am sure that my list of 80 people will grow once I receive my rsvp's from my single guests so I wish I could say I am done with this project but I am not :( But the next time around It wont be as big as a lot maybe 10-15 (hopefully).
here is some eye candy of my DIY wedding labor:

attempt

2011-04-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

I did it I finally made some teacup candles. It wasn't as hard as I thought I will post a few pictures of the first batch. My cousin Emily and myself went to whole foods and got some essential oil and played chemist in the kitchen we ended up getting sweet orange and lemon grass. The smell is citrus summery perfect for a afternoon wedding in the summertime. We made our first batch yellow and I was shaking so bad when I was pouring because it looked a little to much like pee. :)

part 1

2011-04-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

leaving the dock the water was still glassy

vest for safety

Otto cool off pant

Nikon D70s 50mm lens

cross steppin

Micah getting good ones all day

mama catching the inside

Johns photography skill in action using the D90 with the Tamron 18-200mm

John tarfoot

Get me off of this rock

2011-04-17T20:46:00.001-07:00

Get me off of this rock
Originally uploaded by vania francesca
The family took a small vacation to Oxnard area had a great time the best part was no Facebook, email, phone for 3 days. What a great feeling I will post some fantastic adventure shoots tomorrow

Spiffed up

2011-04-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

I took Otto to our Local PetSmart today for a grooming his coat is so smooth and he smells amazing. Of course as soon as we got home he rolled in the grass but thats Otto for ya.

out of it

2011-04-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

These past few week have felt non stop for me I cant seem to have any free time. I know as soon as things slow down I will be bored and wish things would pick back up again. Next week all the kids are out of school for spring break. Thats going to be a little nuts but I am hoping to gather up some projects for them to do with Marley. Hopefully after next week I can get back into the swing of things.
Do have some good news a friend John and I surf with is a surfboard shaper and is making John and myself a board. I am to excited I have never had a board shaped for me. I basically going to let him shape whatever he thinks I would love Its his craft and I know that if I let him have creative control over the project that it will work well. The only thing I asked was for it to be 6'2 he did have some concepts and going to make it specifically good for MB Piers mutant waves. Since thats where we surf the most. I am to excited I grabbed my camera and took a few shots before we left mostly of Marley rolling around in the foam dust.

This shop is in my town and it is so amazing Classic cars and amazing longboards. I could hang out there all day taking pictures. We go back to see the progress so I will get to see my blank all shaped out for me its pretty exciting to be part of the process.

2011-03-27T14:27:00.001-07:00

surfing animation test from Andy Davis on Vimeo.

What Happened

2011-03-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

My girl is not a little one I can put in a pouch on my back anymore

dry spell

2011-03-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

Have not been in the water for almost 2 weeks I went down there yesterday with Marley and took photos of John and the boys maybe I can squeeze some time to post a few later.

nightmare

2011-03-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

I feel violated and taken advantage of someone has stolen a picture of mine and has used it commercially for there gain :(

2011-03-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

The past three days I have been at the hospital for my grandfather my grandmother and "the kids" my mother, Ximena, and Manolo made the extremely tough decision to take him off all life support machines. Its hard to watch something so terrible but family needs to bind together in tough times like this. For my Abuelita we need to be strong. Yesterday was a better day at the hospital Danielle and I expressed our concerns about a lot of ins and outs by not so close family/friends and she took care of it. I remember saying before I left the room how this was more like it. Very light music playing Tata's favorite a slideshow running of the grandchildren calm and peacefulness in the room and the afternoon sun shinning through the blinds. I felt relief when I went home I didn't have a sleepless night like the past 2 nights I went right to sleep.

Photos from the 8th o March

2011-03-09T14:13:00.000-08:00

happy day

2011-03-03T07:28:00.000-08:00

Saturday Feb 26th:
   Was pretty great I went to Michaels and bought my wedding invitations they were $39.99 but I had a coupon from the newspaper for 40% off so I ended up get $16.00 dollars off. They only had one 30 count of invitation that were in the style I liked so I asked one of the sales lady if she could help me track another pack down from a different store. She was really friendly and checked for me she found one on the other side of town in Torrance so I told her to have them hold it for me and I would drive out that way. The line at Michaels was tretcherus but the lady offered to let me pay for it with her so I didn't have to wait in line and keep my coupon so I can use it at the other store so I basically save $32.00 dollars so the second box was almost free! I am sure I will blog about how it was to actually was to print them out they are the print them out yourself type. Hopefully its not to bad I am terrible at following direction and I tend to use directions as guidelines or examples them step by step instructions. I know thats not a good choice when it comes to these types of things but maybe it will be a good story ha ha.
Same Day:.
   I stop by the salvation army next door they were having a 50% off sale. I found teacups and saucers long story short I made out like a bandit 14 teacups and saucers for 12 dollars I was elated.That brings me up to the 60 count mark on teacups. I lost count again but I am going to pull them out and wash them soon anyways. If I am ever going to get candles in them I probably need to start doing them maybe a dozen at a time at the end of this month if not sooner.
Sunday Feb 28th:
   Mary and I went to Macy's to look at bridesmaid dresses. PW sent me a picture of one through her phone it caught my attention so I pounced. I looked it up online the night before and it was on sale for $37.99 for some reason when Mary and I found it at Macy's it was still regular price $54.00 which is still a great price for a dress. Especially since the last time I went shopping with Mary I bought a $170.00 Anthropologie dress. Which I am in love with and want to wear everyday.
  Mary used her smooth talking skills to the sales lady who was so so nice. She was able to match the online price and it was also the last day where you can get an additional 25% off if you spend over $100.00. It was a sign I had to get them all today. Mary and I went back to the fittings rooms and tried on all the sizes together and made educated guesses for all the girls size. I bought them all and ended up spending $125.00 for all four dresses I was so stoked. Now I hope I have no problems with size luckily everyone has a Macy's near them so there going to try the dress on to make sure they fit.

They have pale pink tulle with a cream lace overlay I just love them and they goe with my vintage theme. PW is going to attempt to make belt/sash for them I am excited to see they come out I am sure they will be awesome.

Anything but the face photo challenge

2011-02-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

Low Tide

When you can see all the oceans wonder Marley love the sea anemone and is not afraid to touch them. The water was cold but sun was warm on our backs.

For me

2011-02-23T07:56:00.001-08:00

For me
Originally uploaded by vania francesca

John impulse bought this board for me it is my first epoxy. I like floaty wide boards and this looks like this is going to be one. it has this "s-rail" which is this curve closer to the tail John says it will turn better than my other fish. That is what I have been hoping for in a new board I want to make sharper turns. I am taking Marley to school in a hour and crossing my finger that there are some waves I put a new tail patch and John waxed it for me :) he loves me. The funny thing is I just re waxed two of his boards for him last week. I wax your board you wax mine it kind of this little ritual when we get a new board we all pitch in and help wax it. Marley helped to she waxed it all the way to the nose haha!

Available for family sessions

2011-02-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

For information and pricing come check out my website. I can also offer print packages as well convoy me for prices.

http://www.wix.com/vaniafrancesca/vfp

Garage Sale Find

2011-02-12T10:51:00.001-08:00

Garage Sale Find
Originally uploaded by vania francesca
It seams I buy a new coffee machine every other year so I decided to upgrade to a older model it seems I have better luck with older things lasting longer. I feel strongly that they make things to break in about 6 months so you go out and consume more.
update:
So I have been using my old new coffee maker all week. First of all my coffee taste better it takes longer to brew than my other maker but I was using the same measuring for my 8 cup maker and it still was not that strong.I am a Starbucks bold girl I like my coffee with rich flavor. The same measurement in my gen electric and my coffee was darker and flavor is more full. The clock works and the timer does to. It has a hot plate to keep the coffee warm and If I do not turn it off the coffee stays HOT! An actual warmer that actually keeps your coffee warm..whhaaa!

New Years

2011-02-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

John and I were looking at videos on YouTube and bumped into this one. I am the one trying to cross step mostly going left John has one or two waves also. It was such a fun mellow day the music fits.

Deceptive

2011-02-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

Marley is 3 and will not eat anything that looks healthy which really makes it hard to cook for her Micah and Tyler do better but still dread the vegetables and save them for last and pull the I'm full card at dinner time. I had been talking to my sister Carina about this book Deceptively Delicious. If you do not know about it basically you puree fruits and vegetables and sneak it into recipes.
Carina sent me down a copy for my birthday I have been so excited to try it so this past Sunday I went on a puree'athon. I tried my first two recipes last night I made macaroni and cheese for the boys and snuck in a 1/2 cup of butternut squash. It tasted really good it gave it a sweeter taste and it seemed the boys enjoyed it also. I also made breaded chicken and added 1/2 cup of sweet potato to it ( I dipped it into eggs and sweet potato batter and then the bread crumbs). Marley couldn't have the mac and cheese because of her dairy allergies but she did get some chicken and enjoyed it (muhaha). Tonight I am going to give her two different sides with vegetables in them so I guess I will see if it works for the second time.

I really love the book I am motivated to change the way I prepare foods at my house not only because its healthier but also I need to teach the kids healthier options. I think my mom cooked great meals but didn't really teach us about portions.(sorry mom I love you) I think that change for a better life begins with a healthier diet and exercise. I know for myself when I eat good and exercise I have more energy and generally feel better about myself but the hard part for me is to keep consistency. Luckily I have my kids as a major driving force I just need to remind myself that I don't want my kids to have health problems and worry about there weight for the rest of there lives.

Tea Cup Madness

2011-01-25T07:18:00.000-08:00

I have been collecting vintage teacups literally piece by piece every time I stop by goodwill or salvation army I try to find one for my collection I have also been given several from friends, my grandmother Judi and sisters when they come across them. So what am I collecting for? These are going to be wedding favors for all our guests for our wedding in August. I have about 31 teacups and 29 saucers so far. I think we are expecting maybe around the 100 mark but 10-20 of that number may be children. They will be receiving kid friendly gifts as for everyone else it will be a teacup with either a candle inside or some sort of filler like candy. I really love the idea of melting a candle in them but the only thing is that so many of these lovely delicate teacups have beautiful ornate flower decor in the inside of them it would be a shame to cover them.

I almost axed the idea several months ago just because its overwhelming to even think of the number of teacups I need to come up with but recently Rachel emailed me a mock table setting of how I pictured the wedding and the teacups just look so lovely and really made the whole Vintage style come alive. There also will be a vintage tablecloth overlay on every table and vintage napkins. Most of the tablecloths are actual pieces of family history some coming from Italy from my fathers side and some from Chile from my mothers side some are over 50+ years old.

I am so excited to see how it all comes together. Keep in mind John and I are pretty broke but I am hoping I can achieve that DIY/fancy photographers dream style with our budget. All the tables are obviously not going to be matching and thats so me anyways. I feel confident with keeping the base colors Green with pops of pale color but mostly green so our flower cost can stay resonable. I figured that using lots of green filler will make it feel full of flowers without the large price tag.

Look at these kids!

2011-01-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

This picture makes me a little bit sad and happy. I love these boys with all my heart. I feel that they have grown up on me and there not those little boys I remember. Micah and Tyler changed my life made me want to be a mother so I guess you can say that I grew up with them to.

Love you boys

I hope one day you will read this

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T10:12:00.000-08:00

2011 is almost here and everyone is thinking of their New Year’s Resolutions. What is mine? Well I have been trying to make more time for the things I love I think that when I took on being a mother I lost myself for awhile I was so focused on being mom. That is OK to a certain extent but I have realized that my life was off balance. I had been unhappy with myself because I had lost myself completely. I even would call myself the maid because every day it was tending to the kids, cleaning house, making Dinner and at the end of the night the house looked like I didn't even clean at all and the next morning it was the same thing all over and over again. So my focus this year will be on taking more time for myself and doing the things I really enjoy doing. I recently have been making these skirts for Marley and my nieces. My sister in law Mary has been encouraging me to do more with them like maybe try putting them in a boutique. She sincerely has been supportive with my photography and my sewing. And I couldn’t thank her enough for that.My two best buds Rachel and Pam also always have sweet words for me and I don't think they will ever know how much it means to me. Love you gals!
Before I was a mother I was in design school and wanted to be a clothes designer. I was going to El Camino and when I realized that I was not about being cut throat and into myself like they tell you what the Fashion Industries is about I stopped going. I was not happy there and as much as I would love to have the degree it’s not about that for me anymore. I do not want to be some huge fashion mogul I just want to be creative. Same goes as my Photography I just want to take pictures and if I can have a few happy clients I would be in bliss. I took photography in High School and I will never forget what my photography teacher said to us..."Do not do photography for a living you won’t make any money". What the f*** who says that? Well my Del Norte High School photography teacher does. And unfortunately I listen to her and what she said stuck with me. And even though I took classes in college for photography her voice echoed in my head. It’s not a career don’t do it just make it a hobby. Well it’s taken me over 10 years to stop thinking her way. Why can’t I do photography why can’t I make clothes? I think that there are a lot of people out there like me. A love for art but don’t have the confidence to jump in and go for it.
So what do I really want? Well... I want to be a good mother, wife, do my part in help keeping our earth stay green I want to share photography and my creativity with people who would enjoy it. So what are my goals? If I could pick one word it would have to be happiness.

Gamble

2010-12-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

Some blood test results came back last Wednesday. My Doctor was not to happy with the results my prolactin levels are still to high. My prolactin levels were originally 80.5 , three months ago and now are 76. so not to much of a difference with the medicine so unfortunately I will have to take .5 CABERGOLINE twice a week again instead of once a week. A little frustrated only because the last time I was taking that dose I was having severe migraines everyday. But if I want to get better I guess that's what I have to endure.
When talked to the doctor last I explained my frustrations on taking this medicine and how feel discouraged on the treatment plan. I just want to be done with all of this and surgery to remove the tumor in my brain sounds better right now. I do not like to take pills and the chance that they might not even work is discouraging. One of the side effects is an excessive urge to gamble well I think that's exactly what I am doing every time I take one!

Pricelist

2010-12-11T08:23:00.000-08:00

I have updated the price list slightly I have been getting a bit more busy and spending a lot of time making sure every picture is perfect so I adjusted package B and C. I am still offering the 30 minute mini session that includes 5 high res photos for $75 so if you still need a Holiday Photo contact me.

Thanks

Vaniafrancesca@hotmail.com

http://www.wix.com/vaniafrancesca/vfp

Are those generic?

2010-12-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

   November 8th
   I bought my prescription at target the other day it cost me $117.00. There were 5 people behind me in line at the pharmacy and I was completely in shock. I don't think I have ever spent that much money on something so small. I asked the technician to go check if they were generic I could feel the people switching there leans and taking deep breaths. So I did what I think an extroverted person would do I turned to them apologize and said "they want me to pay $117 bucks for four pills I just want to make sure its right."

   November 22nd
   I just took the 3rd dose last night and so far I sleep well but I am getting some side effect when I wake up I feel like I don't want to open my eyes because its to bright. My eyes feel like they have been beat up also the front of my head is got that same pain like a migraine. Or when you go down to Cabo and take a tequila shot then they shake your head well like that but no good buzz just pressure built in my head. yesterday I woke up like that and was hating life so I called the pharmacist to ask if I can take some Ibuprofen. On the side of the bottle it read DO NOT TAKE OTHER MEDICINES WITHOUT CHECKING WITH YOUR DOCTOR OR PHARMACIST. Luckily I am in the clear I can Ibuprofen it up thank goodness because if this is going to be a daily thing I think I will crack and opt for surgery.

Back to fun things

2010-11-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

click me

Wait and see

2010-11-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I braved the 405 to Wilshire Blvd. I forget how crazy it gets over there but it was worth it I dont think I ever went to a Hospital where when you walked down the hall to the medical rooms there is a big framed article that reads Americas best hospital award. Its pretty amazing and I think sometimes I forget I live in Los Angeles regardless if my medical insurance some of the best doctors work here. The Dr I saw yesterday was great he spent a very long time with us answering all of our questions and even laughing at one or two of Johns bad jokes.
The outcome to this appointment was a better understanding of treatment plans. He thinks that it is NOT a RCC and in his professional opinion he thinks it is still a benign pituitary tumor. So that being the case I will be put on a medication called Cabergoline. This medication is used to treat high levels of prolactin hormone in your body. It should restore my pituitary dysfunction and get me back to normal. Now this medicine is suppose to shrink prolactin secreting tumors therefor If that is the type of tumor that I have it should shrink and I might not need a surgery. I will be taking Cabergoline twice a week and slowly raising the dose for about three months after that 3 months I will go back to UCLA and get another more thorough MRI. Now if the tumor is not a prolactinoma it will show up in the MRI and it will look no different. If that is the case then they will go ahead and operate using Endo-nasal Endoscopic Surgery.
My brain is tired...

View from the inside

2010-10-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

So I think this is so fascinating how many people really get to see there brain. This is one view where you can actually see the cyst.

Appointed

2010-10-27T20:09:00.000-07:00

Have my first appointment with a neurosurgeon on Monday. I am slightly relieved finally maybe I can get some answers. So To lighten up this blog I thought I would share a few photos from this week. Enjoy...

Mr Otto being a Pug he is amazing I can feel so much love from him he is such a great dog so happy we are blessed to have him in our life's. Picture on the right is one of the best pictures I have taken. I took it over at Mary and Paolo's house from there back door.

Taking photos of my moms knits I really need to get some on etsy for her.

This has to be the best all the kids and our pup they were all having a blast running around in the yard yesterday.I couldn't stop laughing Otto was flying up and down the yard and no one can catch him.

Hurry up and wait

2010-10-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

A 48 minute phone call to my insurance provider a conference call to UCLA referral services and 2 faxes later. I think finally did the trick the nurse is supposedly going to review my paperwork TODAY and give me the OK to make an appointment for neurosurgery. I should be hearing from them by 3pm if not at 3:01 I will be calling them.

A copy of the MRI report it looked interesting so I figured I would share it.

I like the part where it says the optic chiasm and cavernous sinuses appear normal.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe"

2010-10-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today I received my (request for service) in the mail for a neurosurgeon I have a choice to go to UCLA Neurosurgery or USC Neurosurgery I have no idea which one to pick. The UCLA website visually looks good but just because I like their website doesn’t really mean anything.

Dr. Young who is my primary physician has been John’s mother’s doctor for over 15 years and I when I talked to her earlier she had suggested asking him if he is familiar with any doctors. I think getting his opinion is probably a good start instead of blindly picking just anyone especially knowing that brain surgery is my likely outcome. I tried to get a hold of my doctor today but I was 14 minutes to late and have to wait till tomorrow to talk to him.

It’s been such a waiting game it is starting to make me impatient I just want to know EXACTLY what this mass in my brain is. I want a clear diagnosis I know it’s now leaning toward the RCC but it is still up in the air so the sooner I get an appointment with a neurosurgeon I will finally have some clear answers.

New Dawn New Day

2010-10-09T11:19:00.001-07:00

Tyler
Originally uploaded by vania francesca

Yesterday was a somewhat hectic day I had been emailing and text messaging a photographer on craigslist for a Nikon D90 he had for sale. It was a really decent deal so I went for it and now have a nice camera to add to my arsenal.

I also talked to my endocrinologist about the test results to my MRI I had done earlier this week. The previous diagnosis I had earlier this month was that I may have a pituitary adenoma. So they checked out the pictures of my brain and found something in there but it wasn’t what we were expecting. So instead of having a pituitary tumor they now think I have a Rathke's Cleft Cyst. (Sigh) There not sure so they want me to go see a neurosurgeon to take a better look. It’s about 4x9x12mm so the 12mm area is about 1.2cm big. I guess it occurs when the Rathke's pouch in your brain doesn’t properly develop. This diagnosis better fits my symptoms of galatorrhea (pituitary dysfunction), headaches and my missing periods. The one thing that is concerning is the visual disturbances which is the most common symptom. My nurse should be calling me next week to set up a visual field study and I am very interested on the results I am going to have. It’s so ironic that I want my photography to be more than just a hobby now that I am getting all this medical information about myself. I am fine I am much happier that I am one step closer to knowing what is wrong with me. And so thankful I have medical insurance.

My work

2010-09-29T00:57:00.001-07:00

Originally uploaded by vania francesca

Here is something I took today that I am proud of. I really am excited things are coming together well. Marley is in school and I am able to do some work I truly enjoy.

New member of the family

2010-09-19T08:23:00.001-07:00

pup
Originally uploaded by vania francesca

If you know me well you would know I have been dying to own a pug forever I finally was able to adopt one. The boys are so happy they have been begging for a four legged friend to call their own. His name is Otto I think we are still kind of playing around with names but this one seems to stick well.

My real life Kewpie Doll

2010-09-08T07:53:00.001-07:00

My real life Kewpie Doll
Originally uploaded by vania francesca

I got an email yesterday from Marley’s preschool it was a reminder to bring a wallet size photo to orientation for their cubbies. So it was a good time to snap a few fresh shots of Marley since she continues to grow at lightning speed. As soon as I caught a glimpse at this photo I thought Kewpie Doll the eyes the round face (sigh) so cute.

BINGbing

2010-08-28T16:32:00.001-07:00

BINGbing
Originally uploaded by vania francesca
I went downtown today for the annual Car Show. I love anything antique and classic so much work and beauty in old cars I wish I could own them all. This was an emblem on a hood of a car I caught the light just right for it to sparkle I am very happy with this.

Fix it Friday

2010-08-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

Here is the original:

My first edit:

Corel Paint Shop Pro X2

1. I duplicate the photo so I have 2 layers to work with
2. the first layer I go under the effects tab scroll down to photo effects another menu will pop up click film and filters.
3. once your in there use the bottom menu which is filters. I like to use the champagne filter its a pretty color pink on my photo I love it.
4. pick the amount you want I like to put a little extra because the two layers will mellow it out.
5. click OK and get back on the main page.
6. Click the other layer so its highlighted.
7. repeat step 2
8. click sepia toning
9. choose how much age you want to add to the photo.
10. click OK and go to main page.
11. highlight the the layer with the pink tint and turn the opacity down so you can see the sepia layer behind chose how little or less
12. merge the layers
13. save and done

edit 2:

Thanks for looking and good luck everyone :)